What is love in the era of snapchat, hashtags and Netflix and chill?

Call me old fashioned but I still believe in pure selfless love, the kind that feels like you can do anything in the world, that feels like you are walking on clouds, or you are warmly hugged by a blanket of sun rays.

But let’s take a step back. What is love? 

We all have our own definition of love, whether it is romantic love, friendly love, love of family, etc. But behind all that, there is the notion of universal spiritual love that resides within all of us. It’s that sweetness of emotion that is in our hearts and does not depend on external factors. It’s that deep rooted emotion that grows from within and gives you wings to fly. It’s that energy that doesn’t need external validation to flourish but grows from within like a seed. Almost like you don’t see it, but you know it is there planted inside you.

Love is unconditional and flows from within and is not dependent of what happens outside of us, or the behaviour of others. It flows freely from the heart embracing everything with compassion and tenderness. To experience such love, you have to start with bringing awareness to it, and to understand what self-love means, how in manifest in your life. Loving yourself means embracing everything about yourself, the light and the shadows and only then you will be able to tap into the energy of love and transcend.

In love you must learn to let go of attachment. Attachment to outcome, and possessiveness poisons the notion of love. “I love you, but I need you to this for me”, “I love you, but you need to behave this way”, “I love you, but you need to get that job”, etc.

The moment we start imposing conditions on the ones we love we put them in a cage, we attempt to control the situation, so they meet our expectations. And if the expectations are not met then we are disappointed and resentment builds and next thing you know we wonder why the relationship or friendship broke down, or why kids stop talking to their parents.

Pure love is freedom, to be our authentic ourselves and to know that no matter what, those that are important for us will always be there. And when we love we will do everything in our power to make the ones we love happy, and not because they ask, but because it brings us joy to do so.

So, you see love is not about imposing conditions, but about finding that sweet spot of freedom and sharing ourselves. Walking together, yet apart, happy one for another, yet without the pressure of expectations and projections.

Ok but what does this have to do with hashtags, tiktok, Netflix and chill?

The notion of love is not easy for many of us to grasp, and nowadays with the evolution of technology the notion of love became an even more complex notion. Not because love changed, but because we as society changed. We changed our habits, our social structures, the way we communicate, the way we interact with each other.

Human contact has been replaced with virtual interactions. The excitement and emotions of walking together and holding hands for the first time was replaced by peach and aubergine emojis. The thrill of going out to the movies and maybe kiss, was replaced by Netflix and chill and the list can go on.

Technology is great, don’t get me wrong, many good things came out of it, but it also led to a massive human disconnect. We disconnect from ourselves every time we scroll mindlessly on social media, we disconnect from others every time we “hang out” together while still on our phones.

So where is love in this equation? 

I am not sure to be honest.

The trick is that virtual connections have replaced human interactions, but the emotions remain. If two people talk continuously for a while, sending messages every day etc. a connection is formed, and feelings can grow. But the connection can be broken more easily because it is easier to detach from the situation virtually and break up with someone over a text rather than seeing them in person.

Yes, you can say to yourself, oh well it doesn’t matter because we were just chatting online for 3 months, but in reality, in those three months you were probably both hooked emotionally and the “break up” will hurt anyway (at least one of you).

Love is an emotion, and just because human interactions have changed, this doesn’t mean that our intrinsic emotions have changed as well, because they haven’t. So, nowadays we need to be even more mindful of our own emotions.

So how do we bring love back into the equation?

I think the only way to do that is to spend time together in person, to put our phones away and really spend quality time with our loved ones, our friends, our family. Allow for love to grow and foster organically.

Allow for energy to flow from human to human and allow that connection to grow on an energetic level. But that a topic for another post.

With loving presence!

Florina

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PS. Remember my ABC - Awareness - Bravery - Compassion