You are so young... you can work the weekends!

“You are young, you can work the weekends.” This is what one of my superiors told me as I was I was working day and night on a file.

This was not a one-off incident, she repeated it every time she pushed our deadlines forward.

Of course, as a young lawyer, I was keen and eager to prove myself. But when your manager says something like this to you it puts you down in a way that is hard to explain. Not only that she was making us work weekends, but she was also discriminating against young single people and that really pissed me off.

Just because I am young and single doesn’t mean I don’t deserve a break, to rest to have a life and maybe even get a life partner. How was I going to meet anyone if I was working non-stop.

I didn’t leave my job as a lawyer because the job itself was not nice. Although it was challenging working on EU financial services, it was very stimulating and I had become an expert so no matter what came my way, I was able to deal with it.

I left because over the years I lost motivation, because the work environment was not conducive of a fulfilled life. The only way to find work life balance is to work in an environment that facilitates a lifestyle that is compatible with your life values.

But when every week, every day your boundaries are being pushed to the limits, and you are constantly trying to prove yourself or pick your battles, that motivation slowly fades away.

Because it feels like an uphill struggle.

I left because the pain of staying was stronger than the pain of leaving.

The people we work with make-up 50% (if not more) of our experience and job satisfaction. And if that doesn’t work, then there is no other solution but to leave.

I did a lot of mindset work on myself, working with detachment, non-attachment, accepting that people don’t change and that I had to change the way I respond.

But it was simply not enough, I need an injection of fresh motivation.

The other day I visited my old employer, and it was a lovely day. I was happy to be there and see some of the people. Someone asked me if I would ever go back, and the answer was Yes.

I left in good terms, I could easily do the job for life, but would it fulfil me? That is the real question.

Now here I am on a new path, learning, sometimes struggling, but the ride.

Watch this space.

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With loving presence,

Florina